You So Don't Deserve Me
by ColourMyWorld
Summary: “You had me to get her, and here I thought it was me. I'm sorry for loving you the way I do. But I am who I am, and I'll never be her. Selena-support. OneShot. -NiLEY-


**You so don't deserve me**

"**You had me to get her, and here I thought it was me. I'm sorry for loving you the way I do. But I am who I am, and I'll never be her. Selena-support.**

**A/N: Okay, don't flip, but there is no Niley in this story. I don't like nelena as a couple but I like them both equally as individuals. But I also think Nick took advantage of Selena and used her, and she didn't deserve that. I won't apologize is the only song she wrote herself on kiss and tell, and its so obviously about Nick. So this is a Selena-support. You don't like Selena, just leave, I don't want hate comments. I think she's amazing, so tough, everyone's entitled to their own opinion and this is mine.**

**-Y o u S o D o n ' t D e s e r v e M e-**

_I'm sorry for changing, I'm sorry it isn't like it was, believe me, its easier, oh just to pretend, but I won't apologize for who I am._

**-Y o u S o D o n ' t D e s e r v e M e-**

**(Selena's POV all the way through :)**

I never realized how much I'd changed until he left my life, in the abrupt way he did, shattering my heart to pieces. I never understood why she'd been so hurt by me dating him, until that fatal day of course, but it was too late to fix a broken friendship. She'd never forgive me in a million years. Not after what I did. It might not seem that bad to you, my dear reader, but you haven't had your broken by Nick Jonas. Consider yourselves lucky.

I never realized that all this time he'd been hiding behind a veil of lies and deceit. I was too naive to see that he loved her, not me. He never loved me, he couldn't even love me if you tried. He was in love with his past. And my past. Someone who I thought was long gone, so I was safe. She couldn't come steal him from me, forgetting I'd done the same thing to her. But I forgot how determined he is, and when he wanted something, he got it. He wanted Miley, and he got her. They're stronger than ever.

I never saw the love in his eyes every time he looked at her. Teen Choice Awards, 2008. His eyes were locked onto her. A tear leaked out of his eyes when he saw how much emotion she put in that song. The cold look he got when her gaze met his. The hatred burning in her eyes. Well honestly, what did he expect? Not only did he break her heart, he took away her two best friends. And I, one of her closest friends, succeeded in replacing her. Hollywood changed me for the worst ehh? And now, not only did I lose one of my first ever friends in this industry, I lost my best friend for ten years.

I guess I can't really blame Demi for what she did. Maybe I deserved it. I had no right to bad mouth Miley. Especially when I meant not a single word. But maybe I didn't deserve it. I don't see why she had a problem with me bad mouthing Nick. Sure, he's her friend, but I thought I was closer. Guess not. I thought she understood how broken I felt. I thought she understood I really do love him. I thought she understood that I was clearly used to get his ex back. Guess not. Ten years of friendship lost. What's the difference these days? Ten years or ten weeks, still hurts like hell whatever the situation is.

I hate Nick. I really hate him. I never understood why Miley was so angry at him. Until now. He used me, just to get Miley back. Why'd he dump her in the first place if he loves her? I can't be what he wanted me to be. I can't be Miley. And I won't be Miley. I am who I am, and the worlds just going to have to deal with that. I don't want to be the next Miley Cyrus. Hell, I can't be the next Miley Cyrus, she's the one and only. I want to be Selena Gomez. I don't want to be a copy of someone. I just want to be me. But I guess everyone wants something they clearly can't have.

For example, I want Nick. But at the same time, I don't want anything to do with him. Just seeing his face sickens me, but then I get lost in his mesmerizing chocolate brown eyes, and I forget why I was mad at him in the first place. I hate him for making me feel like that. I can relate to seven things in so many ways. Now I'm experiencing the pain Miley went through, I wish I'd come out my stupid little happy bubble, and been there for her. I guess Karma's back to bite me in the butt. Gee, thanks karma, you done rubbing it in my face? Yeah, I didn't think so either. Screw you.

_'Cause I never think about you, I'm better off without you, **I don't miss you at all. **_Hmm, I'm definitely better of without him, but I always think about him. He haunts my mind day and night. I hate him for doing this to me. Fuck you Nick Jonas. Why did you use me? Why did you hurt me? Why did you lie to me? Why didn't you just tell me the day you met me that it was her you wanted? Not me. I want answers, but it's damn clear I won't get them from him.

**-Y o u S o D o n ' t D e s e r v e M e-**

"_Selena." He interrupted my story, placing his hands over mine._

"_Yeah?" I asked him, shivers shooting up my spine as his cool hands made contact with mine._

"_I... I can't do this any more." He dropped my hands and let his head fall into his arms._

"_What's wrong Nick?" I asked him worriedly, scurrying out of my seat and over to his side._

"_I'm a horrible person." His voice was muffled into his arms. I pulled his arms apart so he was forced to face me._

"_What do you mean?" My voice trembled as I sensed something bad was going to happen._

"_I used you." He blurted out, tears glistening in his eyes._

_I opened my eyes to say something, not even managing a squeak. "You used me to get Miley?" I asked him tonelessly._

"_Yes." Even though he was near to tears, I knew he wasn't crying over me, he was crying that he made the mistake to let Miley go. And I was foolish enough to think this whole time it was me who he loved._

"_I'm leaving." I shot up from my seat, aggressively pulled my coat on and grabbed my purse off the floor. "It was nice knowing you Nick." I took a final look at him and stormed out._

**-Y o u S o D o n ' t D e s e r v e M e-**

Short, but bitter sweet. I never talked to him again, unless it was for publicity or something. I never want to talk to him. He used me to make Miley jealous. I was just his entertainment. Someone to keep him busy so he couldn't mope over her.

I wonder if anyone will ever love me. There was Taylor, and he's the best thing that ever happened to me, but apparently he's dating Taylor Swift now, who's like my best friend now, so I don't know what to believe. I do know that those two are the only people I trust in my life. Like I said, I could trust Demi, but I offended her by what I said about Nick and Miley, so yeah, that friendship went down the drain. It's whatever, like I care.

Oh shut up Selena, of course I care. There's a hole in my heart which Demi used to take up, and it can never be filled again, fact. So I'm going to act like I don't care. I don't need people's fake Hollywood sympathy, and it'll save me a lot of hurt.

Five reasons why I love Demi:

She comforts me even she knows I'm wrong,

She's always there for me,

She always knows what to say to cheer me up,

She's been through everything with me for ten year,

She's my best friend, even though I'm not hers any more.

_You had me, to get her, __**and here I thought it was me. **_Damn right I thought it was me. I thought I was the one that kept him up thinking at night. I thought I was the one who he would love forever and always. I thought I was the one who he felt sparks with when we kissed. I thought I was _**her. **_

_I was changing, arranging, my life **to fit your lies. **_Tell me Nick, did you a mean a single thing you ever said to me? Every compliment, were you just thinking of her, then saying it to me? Every kiss, were you thinking of her, then kissing me? Every meaningless word, you didn't give me a damn about me, all you wanted was Miley. I hope your happy. In the process, you _**broke **_my heart.

_All said, all done, **I gave it all for the long run. **_I gave _up _everything for the long run. Or what I thought would be the long run. Guess I was wrong ehh? Could she say the same thing? I don't think so. Did she give up almost everything she believed in to be with him? I don't think so. Did she ever lie awake at night wondering why he wouldn't say those _**three little words**_? I don't think so.

_**I can't be what you want me to be. **_No I can't. I can't be Miley Cyrus. I can't be the thirteen year old kid you fell in love with. I can't be the sixteen year old girl you fell even harder for. I can't be the girl in your dreams. I can't be **_her._**

_**I don't even want to be her. **_Hell yeah I don't. Do you know who I want to be? I want to be Selena Gomez. Oh wait, I already am! And I ain't changing for anyone, especially not for a jackass like Nick. Not in a million years.

_**But I won't apologize for who I am.**_I'll apologize for changing while I dated you. Fame got to my head, messed with it, and made me into a destructive monster. I'll apologize for the mess I made. I never meant to stand in between you too, though I must add it was your fault for asking me out in the first place. But I am who I am. It's just _**me.**_

Your a jerk Nick, fact. I wouldn't go back even if you begged me to. _**You so don't deserve me.**_

**-Y o u S o D o n ' t D e s e r v e M e-**

**So... opinions? Did it live up to your expectations? Do you think I should write more one shots like this? Do you think it was too short? I want answers! Review? Kay, thanks. Oh and I'm sorry I don't answer my reviews, I don't really have enough time, but I love reading them. I'm honoured that swinglifeawayx reviewed failing replacement, she's one of my favourite writers. Also honoured that Jenny (iluvjb4ever123) favourited some of my stories. They're both amazing writers, go read they're stories! So I'll ask you one more time, review?**

**-Y o u S o D o n ' t D e s e r v e M e-**


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